So, someone told me I have something worthwhile to say today. But i cant believe that.. not yet. I feel like a river that's been dammed up.. no more flow! Gah. So please, bear with me as I try and find 'the voice within'. o.o

  Summer is finally here! XD I love summer, the glory of having absolutely no school work to do (aha not reallyy) and the utter joy of being able to do anything you want! YESS.

   But it's funny how you strive towards a moment, obsess over how great you think that moments gonna be, and then when you get there and you're living the moment, you realize: this isn't as great as i thought it would be. I was looking forward to the second the school year ended, taking with it my freshman year and my classes. But i didn't notice how comfortable i had gotten with where i was; I forgot about change. And now that the moments over and gone, and I'm sitting here on the first day of summer break, i find that although I'm looking forward to the moments ahead of me, I'll miss this school year and what it gave me.

But I Can't - PluginStereo

  I guess im a little too young for nostalgia (Im !%), but i am afflicted with this horrible feeling! DX I miss those elementary school days.. and haha I know that that sounds really weird (Who would miss elementary school days?!) but I mean who really cared then about all the complications that plague adolescence? You were obsessed with how you were going to spend your recess or where you were going to sit for the next semester; not with how you hated that pimple on your nose, or how you had so much homework that you couldn't go out that weekend.

  Who even worried about how you looked in the morning?? I took a look in the mirror and saw: Me. Without any mascara or foundation or lipgloss (sometimes even chapstick).

Isn't that world of nonchalance worth missing?
 

Black Eyed Peas - Where Is The Love?

What if, for one second, every person in the world stopped talking? If we all just took one moment together to close our eyes, take a deep breath, and quiet our minds? For one second? For a minute? What would we hear?
What would we see when we opened our eyes again? Would we see and hear the same things?

Oh Darling-Plug In Stereo (Ft. Cady Groves)+Lyrics

Happiness tastes of the buttery warmness of pan de sal, sweet cinnamon horchata... it feels like the enveloping heat of afternoon sunshine, the cool touch of chlorinated water, a soft hand holding mine.

Some people say that happiness is not the same thing for everyone. But I think it is.

It's that feeling you get when no part of you feels hurt or broken.. when your mind is quiet like the silence after a storm; when you can just hear the soft waves swishing on the shore. When you see only the NOW, and not the WHY or HOW. They're moments of epiphany; moments where you're drawn into yourself and you realize that everything's going to be okay.

How you get to that happiness is the difference among people :)

It's queer how songs can interpret your emotions and put everything into perspective.. I find that if im really obsessed with a song then that song is saying what I'm thinking at the time.. so here's a song I found to better explain what I failed to explain in my earlier post from today haha :) The song is 'Painting Flowers' by All Time Low..

'Strange maze, what is this place?
I hear voices over my shoulder,
Nothing's making sense at all.
Wonder, why do we race?
When everyday we're runnin' in circles,
Such a funny way to fall.

Tried to open up my eyes,
I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright.


When I wake up,
The dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face,
And know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.

Show my cards,
Gave you my heart,
Wish we could start all over.
Nothing's makin' sense at all.
Tried to open up my eyes,
I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright.

When I wake up,
The dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face,
And know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you,
I am still painting flowers for you.

I heard everything you said,
I don't wanna lose my head,
When I wake up,
The dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face,
And know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?

I am still painting flowers for you,

I am still painting flowers for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS1uKK3yhCQ

 I haven't had a lot to write about lately.. or rather the time or urge to write! A lot of things have been happening lately.. I kind of wish things would just slow down. I have this weirdd sensation of vertigo; i feel as if maybe im doing something wrong? Or is it that im doing the right thing and im just a little unsure? Is what im doing even able to constitute as wrong or right??
 So you see, im confused. :/ Why should i even be confused about this? Is it normal? I feel as if Im in a blindingly white room, with no sense of time or direction. I'm one of those spinning things at parks; I'm turning round and round with only a vague idea of what the blurs around my spinning world are; not even knowing the time of day. How does a mind find itself out of that mess of blurred colors and forms? Of undistinguishable chaos?

Me and Jesus :) Haha we just finished performing Stations of the Cross at our church and we're having a mini mosh pit in the backround. :)

The best things about being young:

-you can use ignorance as an excuse

-excuses are still mildly accepted

-when you break out in song, people just look at you and think. . .'kids'..

-you can still learn from mistakes, not be crushed by them

-nobody fires you for being stupid

-you dont have to work!! :D Unless you count taking out the trash..

To her, love and pain were synonymous. They both hurt, and she kept them both wrapped up in the folds of her heart, where they turned either frigid or searing, so that they crusted over, or made the surrounding heart erode and go rotten. The girl held it close, under all she had, so that that they soon became one, and the world could never see the cause of her slow decay into death.

And because the world never saw, more and more people succumed to the same fate.

Every one of us has had a cut/scrape/laceration. You notice how it stings at first, then starts to scab over, so red and hard, like a shield for the goings'ons inside. Then it starts to heal, and you notice that too because of how you ache to give it an itch, despite the healing that is giving you that patch of skin back.

What does this sound like? Definitely not like a fight between people, the impasse period after, or the gradual process of reconciliation. Nope. Not at all.

~C.M.
listenin' to 'Hey, Soul Sister', Train